‘Seek ye first’ had been on my top 10 list for over 30 years. How is it that we can do that? It wasn’t first; it was just in the mix. And yet somehow I had worked it out in my mind that it was.
Six years ago, after finally reaching a point where I just flat out admitted to myself that my version of Christianity didn’t match up to the Bible’s, there began a stirring in me to take a fresh look at the Bible’s version. After much review, a knee high stack of hand written journals and three books later, it is quite clear that my interpretation was more than a little off.
The process has conditioned me to wrestle things out afresh – to not apply the same compromising logic that is so easy and tempting to do. He said what He said. What did He mean?
Just this morning I read where a man approached Jesus on behalf of his son who suffered from seizures. “I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him”. Jesus directs His attention to His disciples and says, “O unbelieving and perverse generation”. After Jesus healed the boy, the disciples asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out”?
Before, I would have just blown by this. I would have rationalized that it was something for Jesus’ day but not mine. I can’t do that any more. Instead, I am asking myself the same question; ‘why can’t I’? I’ve asked it before; but somehow this time, it is like so many other issues I have wrestled through during the past six years. I sense Him leading me to ask – drawing me to wrestle this out.
I don’t have all the answers yet, which is obvious because I am still asking the question, but I have learned some things about faith that makes the question approachable. Faith knows something. Jesus was frustrated with the disciples for not knowing it. Jesus knew it. He didn’t huff and puff to heal, drive out and raised from the dead; He knew something. He wants some of us to know it as well.
Hunger and Thirst 
Thank you Mike, for sharing your walk so honestly for us. You always know right where I’m at. I haven’t been able to blow by that scripture either, but neither do I stay with it. Like I should. God is asking me to do a very simple basic thing right now, to fast and pray 2 days a week.
Recently, I saw something happen. A miracle in my marriage relationship. Small to everyone else, but huge to me. Then came the attacks to pull it down, make it nothing. But this time, I didn’t let it go. I’m holding it up high in thanks to Him, and to build upon it, more faith. I asked Him how did it happen? Of course, that is the miracle of Him at work. ha! But, one thing that came out of it is that my heart needs to be humble. Truly humble. And that doesn’t happen as much as I think it does. !
God bless you as you keep asking Him, “Why can’t I?”
Your daughter is still pretty much at the center of my wrestling. There are a few other things but she is a big part of it. I do think it is important to see evidence that we are on the right track. I see just enough – and it sounds like you do to – to keep pressing.
I really don’t know where all this will end up. I feel the Lord is leading me on a journey of faith. My writings for a while anyway, will be about that journey. If you know of others that are on a similar path, invite them to join in if you think it would be good. I may not post as often, but dialogue could be good.
I am kind of speechless that God has given you a journey, with my daughter at the center of the wrestling. ! I am humbled and blessed all at once. And encouraged and challenged to press in and on.
And, now that I understand and know more specifically, I can share with you more along those lines too. So . . .for you to be encouraged, she has just been going through a time when she normally has a couple of bigger seizures, where she stops breathing and collapses, but she didn’t have those this time. She had more staring type seizures than she might usually in a day, but those aren’t as serious/dangerous for her. The doctor prescribed clonazepam to stop her seizures when she begins having too many and she’s on 3 other medications 3 times a day. I didn’t give her the clonazepam this last time. It hasn’t exactly stopped them, so I waited to see what happened. 🙂
I will share this journey with others Mike. I think it’s an important one, for everyone of us. God bless you and yours!
I am encouraged. Thanks for letting me know.
Thirteen years ago, I was so upset and frustrated about praying for sick people and then watching them die, that I broke down at a friend’s house and began sobbing. He patted me on the shoulder and said, “Well, Larry, you’re doing your best. That’s all you can do.”
I looked up at him. “No, that can’t be true,” I whispered to him. “Jesus healed people and He said we could do the works that He did and greater. I’m doing something wrong.”
Since that night, I’ve been on a quest to find out how we can do the works of Jesus. If it’s more praying, than I’ll pray more. If it’s more fasting, I’ll fast more. If it’s more faith, than I’ll learn how to build my faith. I’m totally convinced we can do the works of Jesus.
So, Mike, I’m cheering you on. You can do the greater works of Jesus, and no one can stop you.
I am convinced it is in the ‘knowing’. Critical first is to hear God. From there, I don’t think it is as much asking Him as it is telling Satan. It is not hoping; it is not about huffing and puffing; it is about knowing.
I too have had many disappointing experiences. But somehow this time around it is different. Somehow all that I have learned this past 6 years has played in to me be able to approach this. It’s not that I have chosen it; it is truth and I feel drawn to wrestle it out.
Mike,
I agree; and I also think there is a timing to walk in certain things, like healing miracles. “But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son… (Galatians 4:4) I believe that we are still waiting for this new season to come upon us.
I’ve had the sense of being prepared for something beyond myself; like He is laying a firm foundation. And with me, as slow and as dumb as I am, the foundation will need to be pretty firm.
Thanks Mike. Take advantage of announcing your new blog articles on Facebook. You’ll pick up new readers and it’s easy to do.
Hi Mike,
I think the fact that you are being led to seek deeper into the ways of God shows that his Holy Spirit is taking you to greater heights. It doesn’t matter how smart we are or what we know, God is looking for those who will empty themselves and seek him for who he is. That seems to be what you are doing. God bless you as you are drawn to understand the hidden treasures of Christ!
As I commented to someone a few weeks ago, it is not that this is something that I want to be able to do and am tying to make it happen, I truly feel I am just following His lead. I appreciate that you understand that.
By the way, I have enjoyed reading what you have to say about storms. There are plenty to go around these days. We’ve had ours; and it sounds like you have had yours. It’s hard to write as clearly as you do about them without having been through one . . . or in the middle of one.
“I agree; and I also think there is a timing to walk in certain things, like healing miracles. “But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son… (Galatians 4:4) I believe that we are still waiting for this new season to come upon us.”
Hello Mike I’m here from Marianne Lordi,you can learn a lot from others comments. I also believe the statement here made by Larry is key to all of our hoping and searching to do the works Jesus said we would do,it’s all in “God’s Timing” and I truly don’t think it will be much longer before God use us to do many miracles because God will use them to draw millions upon millions to his Son Jesus Christ. I know it’s true deep in my heart,soul and mind. I did enjoy your post and I know that God will lead you into more truth.
Pat,
Thanks for stopping by. I’ve always enjoyed your comments. Our paths first crossed on ‘heismydelight’ site. I always liked her posts. Wish she was still around.
I do agree that all this is in God’s timing. I believe we are on the front end of a real awakening. There is a stirring hunger for ‘authentic’ Christianity; and I think even that is from Him. He stirred me about 6 years ago. I do my best to follow.
Thanks again,
Mike
Mike, as you know our family has weathered our own storms, especially the year 2010 . 2011 has continued to be filled with trials, storms and interruptions. I am memorizing scripture with my daughters along with 5,000+ others across the US with Beth Moore as our encourager. We will memorize a total of 24 verses building upon each one as the months come and go. As I read your post and the comments I recall my 3rd scripture chosen:
In his kindness God has called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while He will restore, support and strengthen you and set you on a firm foundation. 1 Peter 5:10
Keep digging your heels deeper into Jesus.
Lisa
Lisa,
It is cool when God stirs us to write, say or do something . . . and we do it. You know our situation, so you will understand this prayer that I have prayed for the past several months; that He would ‘restore’ all that we, our enemy and life has destroyed. The prayer covers more than the obvious. It involves every aspect of our lives. Our trip after Christmas is part of it. Our time with Dale and Rene a couple of weeks ago (wish yall could have been there) is part of it. We’re signing a contract today (will tell you about it later) that is part of it.
It is clear God stirred you to write your comment and include the verse you included. It is perfect . . . as the things He does usually is.
I will keep digging. I can see in many ways we are gaining.
Mike
To God be the glory. We must all be humbled before Him and pray without ceasing.
LC
A good Word Mike — it is all about the seeking and knowing … God wants us to seek, wants us to know. It is a never ending pursuit – and one that developes a surprisely deep intimacy with God.
Rachel
It is far from dull and boring . . . as so many think Christianity is.